Why you in the game if you ain't even trying to ball

Yet another year had passed and my 25th is fastly approaching. Actually it has snuck up on me, tapping me on the shoulder, and whispering in my ear. Its posted up chilling, nagging me, dropping little hints and innuendo, talking about that I'm not where I envisioned I would be at 25. Coming into college, leaving the world of high school, parental control, and no responsibilities, I felt I would have conquered life by 25. I saw that "American" dream for me. I would be living the high life, married to my high school sweet heart, a lawyer’s wife, with two kids, and pushing a Benz. Obviously that shit didn’t happen. Life grew my ass up, and left him in the dust. It took me 2 extra years to get up out of undergrad, and finding a gig after graduation was, well let’s just say, damn hard. So here I sit, a day before my 25th and I wonder, am I a failure, am I even going to attain my goals, will I be successful in my career, will I fall in love, will I have kids, will I get married, have I even accomplished anything of much importance. Now don’t get it twisted, I am not by any means a self doubter. There isn’t much of anything that I have done that I’m ashamed of, and I am not lacking in the self confidence department. And true, there are plenty of strides that even within the past year that I am proud of. I graduated college, landed a job (not the dream one but at least its putting some bread in my pockets), and got into grad school. Excuse me so I can pat myself on the back. Its just that life has thrown me so many right hooks and jabs, that I feel as if getting what I want and where I want is either damn near impossible or hard as hell. And I'm a realist. No correction I am a realist visionary. I see what I want, I decide what I have to do to get there, and I go into it with my eyes wide open. But I figure when its all said and done, it’s like what I said in a previous post, "Life can definitely be bitch, but it can also be a blessing... But Life can correct the shit that you won't. It will force you to accept the obvious." Yes I will attain the happiness and success I want, but there will be obstacles, and deviations and revisions to my plan. And that past choices, current choices, and future choices will affect that plan. I will suffer for my fuck ups, but I will also reap my rewards. Reminding myself that shit happens, even to the best of the best, I am fully embarrassing turning 25 and I am confident in my future.