I love this way cause I got it as a kid

This is not a continuation of the previous post. I know I need to finish it. Chalk up the new topic to my gemini ways, recent conversations, or just some weird energy in the universe. Whatever suits your fancy, be my guest. But I have got to get this up out of my soul, for once and for all. Finish the last sentence of the last paragraph of the last page of the last chapter of the book and then burn it (not that I am advocate for book burning, but you get my point). The thing is that I have come to the conclusion that I am too nice of a person, much to my personal emotional determent.

Now what has triggered this ephiphany? HIM. My past, the ex. The one who I seriously thought would be my Mr. Forever, but obviously since I'm writing this post that didn't happen. But the thing is I don't know how to say no. He somehow figured out a way to slink his self back into my life. Nothing too serious, just a little conversation here, drop in there, lunch here, and a little friendly business proposition. And that is where i missed up. As soon as he asked for my assistance I should have yelled TRICK PLEASE! Ok, maybe not those words, something as simple as a "thanks but no thanks" would have sufficed (with the TRICK PLEASE in the back of my mind.)

So here I sit, being privy to his business and I don't want to be. I don't want to know what he is doing, when he is doing it and with whom. THANKS BUT NO THANKS. Don't get me wrong I wish him much happiness and success. Its just that I don't want to be apart of it or knowledgeable of it. I would much rather hear of it from some mutual acquaintance through loose conversation where I can ambivalently say that's nice and how wonderful and go on my merry way.

Cause right now, I all I want is that apology that I have yet to get. Not that "Yeah I was in a bad place and I needed to grow up." No sir those are the wrong words. I want to hear "I was wrong in how I misused you, and didn't appreciate your affection. I was wrong in brushing your kindness aside. I was wrong in saying I wanted to marry you. I was wrong in calling you a fat bitch. I was wrong; and for that I do apologize." But hey I know that's not going to happen and I know I need to let it go. So, its dully noted that you've moved on and so have I and that's the way I would like to leave it.

So for all the people who have done me wrong and those I have wronged in return I say this to you:
"NO I will not be your friend. NO I do not want to talk to you. NO I do not want to have conversations or interactions with you. NO I do not want to hear your opinions. No I will not help you with whatever you feel you need my assistance for. NO I will not be accepting your phone calls. As petty as it sounds NO I will not even be your myspace/facebook/twitter/aim/insert social network site here/ friend!"