But you say he just a friend

In my quest for friendship and love, I have unintentionally placed myself in the friend category instead of the potential girlfriend/wifey/wife category. Which in turns puts me in the cutt-buddy/friends with benefits/side chick category. The thing I have come to realize is that women and men view "friendships" with the opposite sex very different. Not to pretend that I understand or know exactly what men think, I do though possess some insights.

I've always been frustrated by my inability to keep male friends just friends. At some one point they want and attempt to have more. Attention: Most guys do not friend females whom they find to be unattractive. Funny it has taken my 29 years to accept this. The thing is, that since I come into situations not requiring much, and wishing to keep things on a friendship level, that's where they put me. I make it so that its easy for them to not offer me more. "Great, she doesn't want a relationship, but I'm still attracted to her. Eventually I'm going to hit." This was never the path I wanted my male suitors to take. I want to be courted, to be respected, to be viewed as girlfriend material. I want friendship and love.

And so here I sit. A string of male "friends" with no relationships offers on the horizon. It would seem that this "epiphany" would have struck me sooner seeing as how I'm almost 3 guys in, whom all have neatly placed me in the "cool girl who I'm attracted to and wouldn't mind to get REALLY acquainted with." Each has frustrated me, because cutt buddy I'm not and giving them some pink cookies in a plastic bag, I'm not. It would also be nice to have had this "epiphany" one month sooner because there is guy #4, with whom I digg immensely and am headed down the same faulty friendship path. However I am aware of my misgivings and friend abyss I have created. Even if I have f*cked things up with the new one, it was indeed a lesson I needed to learn (but I hope *with fingers crossed* that I have not or that the damage can be undone). I do not have the magic recipe for friendship and love, but I am on a better path at achieving the two.